It happens to us all at one point or another. I can’t say exactly when it started, but I know exactly when I realized it. It was this afternoon as I was walking to the mall to send a fax. It’s about a 30 min walk; it’s quicker if you happen to catch the bus. But I enjoy the walk; it’s a calming time for me. So I was walking and praying. And then I said it. “God, I want to know where you want me to serve… but I don’t think this church is right for me- I don’t fit in here.” Wow as soon as I said it (actually ‘thought it’ as I was praying in my head) I realized what had just happened. I stopped walking. And chastised myself – “Eric when did the purpose of the church become to serve you?” Clearly God doesn’t want me to travel the path of least resistance my whole life. It’s not about what’s easiest for me. It’s about what is best for God. My presence in Mexico is to serve God first, serve the people second, myself third. I think somewhere along the line I allowed the devil an angle to tempt me because obviously I don’t fit in – I’m an American in Mexico – duh! But they are my brothers and sisters. I can’t look at others as different than me (ethnocentrism), and therefore can’t teach me anything. Pray that I will be humble enough to allow God to use me to teach them, or learn what God is trying to teach me through them.

Job 2:13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because he saw how great his suffering was.

I just read this the other day and it really struck me. So often we try to work harder, we try to fix everything ourselves. But here, it shows Jobs’ friends realizing they can’t fix this. Only God can fix it. So they are just there. Their presence is what they offer. They are going to go through this with him. So they sit in the dirt and ashes with him for a week! Next time you feel the need to make a casserole, or quote a verse to a friend in need; consider this. Maybe they just need a friend to sit alongside them. Some one to listen, someone to pray with, someone to pursue God with. Fellow blogger JR Woodward calls this the “ministry of presence”. I have experienced this a lot here in Mexico. The culture here places a huge emphasis on relationships. Before most people will really listen to the gospel they need your friendship. This sometimes means talking about soccer, girls, school, movies, etc for a few hours before taking the relationship to the next level. I have said this before and it is still very difficult for me to wait. I always want to make sure they hear about Jesus the first time we meet –in case we don’t meet again. So lately my main method is to be around a lot. Talking on the phone, meeting for coffee, a movie, text messaging, instant messaging, facebook, etc, etc. It is a lot of work, but it also keeps me honest because, I need to be a positive representation of what it means to be a Christian. Obviously I suck at it, because no one is perfect, but I try my best to be different, to show people that my vision, my purpose, my goals, my life – has nothing to do with this world – but are from an eternal perspective. That Jesus offers something this world can’t match.
Which ties my right back into my original dilemma: the things of this world aren’t important to me. However, football here is extremely important. If there is a big game on, people will drop everything to watch it. The game is more important than work, school, church, small group, or whatever else was planned. I have a hard time with that one. I want to spend time with my friends, build these relationships; but it’s really not important. I don’t want to change our small group schedule to fit the soccer schedule. A ten minuet halftime devotional won’t cut it for me. If I was an outsider looking at my day planner, what appears to be of most importance? Or worse, if I was looking at the checkbook!
Please pray for me as I struggle to find the balance in all this.

It’s been a while since I updated. I’ve been pretty busy. Let me tell you about some of it. First, I’ve been spending as much time as possible with my two friends (Chris and Maria) as the leave within the next few days. I will miss them a lot; they both played a big role in helping me transition to Monterrey. I also have been busy with the not-so-fun-but-necessary side of my job = meetings. I am not a meeting kind of a guy; I am more of a hands-on action kind of a guy. I know they are very important and necessary; but for the most part I tried to avoid them. This past two weeks I have had a whole mess of meetings. But again, they were necessary, and now I will be free of them for the next couple weeks. The meetings definitely resulted in some good things, for example: I met with the pastor last week and discussed a variety of things. I asked him to meet because I was doing some reflecting after my 6 month marker and had some observations, suggestions, etc that I wanted to talk with him about. A friend of mine would call it a “come to Jesus meeting” (it’s a southern phrase). Basically it means we hashed out a lot of stuff and came away with really positive results. I will give you an overall summary, but some of it was too personal to share here. I had felt a small distance beginning to grow between myself and the church. Not a difference of great proportions, but I could sense it could become a large rift in the near future. So I told the pastor what I was feeling, where I was coming from, and a couple options of where we could go from here. Basically what I said was, I had been doing a lot of sitting back, assisting, observing, etc, in the church so far; and I wasn’t feeling content with just doing that. Part of it is some cultural differences, so I was sensitive to that in my explanation, but I just didn’t feel like I had enough to do. And on the other hand, I have made a lot of contacts outside of the church that have plenty of work for me to do. I know the church is very young (8 months old) so there is not lot of extra ministry stuff going on yet. There is a lot that is in the general planning stages, but won’t be started for a while. I am used to being super busy and always on the go. So I felt there were basically two options, I intentionally go seek out more for me to do within the church; or just go with the flow and drift away from the church – but still be helping/volunteering/serving within the city. Pastor Sergio (he is very wise – that’s why I went to him) was grateful that I came to him right away and was trying to avoid an awkward situation several months from now. He had some ideas he had been thinking about for me already, but hadn’t got around to talking with me about them yet. So, the end result is basically a new job description for me – and its going to keep me super busy within the church, but I will still get my one day a week in at my orphanage with all the kids that I love so much. I will now be stepping up and am the leader of the youth group. This is great, because I already have some good relationships going with some of the high school kids, and I see a lot of potential in this group – but it’s going to be a lot of work. The only thing I was concerned about is that I will most likely be leaving in November. I don’t want to come in restructure, and internally organize the group (which are the biggest problems they have right now) and then leave and watch it all fall back apart. So a major prayer request is for God to provide a disciple that I can train to take over when I leave. Another part of the job description is that I am going to step up and be the point man for the next couple mission trips. I am really excited about this too; because I have had a lot of fun with the groups in the past. I also see a lot of room for improvement, and have the advantage of knowing how an American thinks; and can plan accordingly. And, I feel that very soon I will also be taking over the supervision of the set-up and tear-down of the sound equipment every Sunday. I say this because we Americans are very efficient, planning kind of people; and that is definitely a huge cultural difference. So I never thought I would be the most organized person in the room; but it happens all the time. So I think I can greatly help them by helping them set up some more organized ways to run things. I also will continue teaching my English class twice a week in the mornings, and will soon be starting a second class once a week in the evenings. I am really glad this is how it went down. I feel refreshed, my vision renewed, and fired up about the next six months. The next six months are going to be a little bit busier, and a lot of fun. I am really excited about what God is going to do during the rest of my time here!