It happens to us all at one point or another. I can’t say exactly when it started, but I know exactly when I realized it. It was this afternoon as I was walking to the mall to send a fax. It’s about a 30 min walk; it’s quicker if you happen to catch the bus. But I enjoy the walk; it’s a calming time for me. So I was walking and praying. And then I said it. “God, I want to know where you want me to serve… but I don’t think this church is right for me- I don’t fit in here.” Wow as soon as I said it (actually ‘thought it’ as I was praying in my head) I realized what had just happened. I stopped walking. And chastised myself – “Eric when did the purpose of the church become to serve you?” Clearly God doesn’t want me to travel the path of least resistance my whole life. It’s not about what’s easiest for me. It’s about what is best for God. My presence in Mexico is to serve God first, serve the people second, myself third. I think somewhere along the line I allowed the devil an angle to tempt me because obviously I don’t fit in – I’m an American in Mexico – duh! But they are my brothers and sisters. I can’t look at others as different than me (ethnocentrism), and therefore can’t teach me anything. Pray that I will be humble enough to allow God to use me to teach them, or learn what God is trying to teach me through them.

Job 2:13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because he saw how great his suffering was.

I just read this the other day and it really struck me. So often we try to work harder, we try to fix everything ourselves. But here, it shows Jobs’ friends realizing they can’t fix this. Only God can fix it. So they are just there. Their presence is what they offer. They are going to go through this with him. So they sit in the dirt and ashes with him for a week! Next time you feel the need to make a casserole, or quote a verse to a friend in need; consider this. Maybe they just need a friend to sit alongside them. Some one to listen, someone to pray with, someone to pursue God with. Fellow blogger JR Woodward calls this the “ministry of presence”. I have experienced this a lot here in Mexico. The culture here places a huge emphasis on relationships. Before most people will really listen to the gospel they need your friendship. This sometimes means talking about soccer, girls, school, movies, etc for a few hours before taking the relationship to the next level. I have said this before and it is still very difficult for me to wait. I always want to make sure they hear about Jesus the first time we meet –in case we don’t meet again. So lately my main method is to be around a lot. Talking on the phone, meeting for coffee, a movie, text messaging, instant messaging, facebook, etc, etc. It is a lot of work, but it also keeps me honest because, I need to be a positive representation of what it means to be a Christian. Obviously I suck at it, because no one is perfect, but I try my best to be different, to show people that my vision, my purpose, my goals, my life – has nothing to do with this world – but are from an eternal perspective. That Jesus offers something this world can’t match.
Which ties my right back into my original dilemma: the things of this world aren’t important to me. However, football here is extremely important. If there is a big game on, people will drop everything to watch it. The game is more important than work, school, church, small group, or whatever else was planned. I have a hard time with that one. I want to spend time with my friends, build these relationships; but it’s really not important. I don’t want to change our small group schedule to fit the soccer schedule. A ten minuet halftime devotional won’t cut it for me. If I was an outsider looking at my day planner, what appears to be of most importance? Or worse, if I was looking at the checkbook!
Please pray for me as I struggle to find the balance in all this.